Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Mr. Negativity

Its just one of those days, when anxiety is taking over, a feeling of of failure is eating at me, life sometimes engulfs you and sucks all your energy out. If I didn't have so many commitments and responsibilities I would quit right now. I wish I didn't have to be dependent on an institution to live, I wish I could have my own business which would generate a decent income, and I can be there for my children, for my family, for myself. I wish I could just stay at home and not have to take anyone's shit or anyone's mood swings.

Life sometimes can be overwhelming, and this whole week has been crap, everyone is on the fast lane to destruction. Everyone wants to climb the mountain and go higher and higher, on other people's back, without a second thought for others. I want to break free from the chains that bind me, I want to breath fresh air and be out in the sun. How many lifetimes does a person get to live but the one he/she has.
I can't stand this any longer. If I was my feelings today I would be a big pile of disappointment, anger, failure, resentment, apprehension, and every other bloody negative feeling in the world. I feel like wringing someone's neck, kicking someone's behind, just anything to vent this huge feeling of anger in me.
Ok, that's better.


Butterfly said...

Take a vacation and indulge yourself. Health Club, SPA, or simply a breath of fresh air by the sea .. anything that may help to relieve your stress.

Hisham said...

You also might want to cut down on coffee (if you're one that lives of that stuff.) It's not going to help bring back your energy level, and you'll just end up feeling more anxious and frustrated.

As butterfly said, indulge. Travel on a whim this weekend, two days, have a blast somewhere and get yourself pampered.

SoulSearch said...

Thanks Butterfly and Hisham, your words help to cool down a bit of the anxiety. But sometimes when someone works in a place that is so stressful, where there is no appreciation for all your hardwork, you just feel like the world is not worth our sweat, blood and tears. I'm sick of incompetent people in lead positions only based on their luck or their looks. Its sad.

I'm sorry I sound so negative, but isn't that what a blog is for? To vent our anger and express our feelings.

Thanks for your concern and your advice, really appreciate it.


SoulSearch said...

You know what Hisham, coffee may be the culprit. I do down at least 2 cups a day. This could be the reason for my taut nerves. Thanks for the tip.

aMaL said...

First of all, you have to know that you are entitled to such low-days. Sounds clich├ęd, but if it weren't to such days, you wouldn't be able to create more strength in you to make a change.
We only live once. At least that is the common belief. Therefore, it's worthless to try to do things the conventional way. Follow your heart, weigh your skills and knowledge, and move forward.
Best of luck dear.